Today I’m licking myself more profusely. Pardon the redundancy. Today is the Judgment Day; the Supreme Court is going to announce the result of the 2007 bar exams at 6 p.m. today! How do I feel? I feel like an embalmed cat (iring gi ligate). My heart sticks in my chest. I have never sigh a thousand times in my life till now. My face is ash fallen. My tongue stick to the roof of my mouth (but I manage to unstuck it if I lick my fur). This is now the exact physical representation of torture.

But if I really think about it, I should not be feeling this way. I should have more or less know the result based on my performance in the bar exams itself. How did I perform then? I prepared myself the best I could; I got sick studying for the bar. I started preparing the summer before the start of my fourth year in law school. Though I was not able to read my reviewers literally five times as someone suggested, I sure have read the basic concepts a number of times.

During the exams, I felt I have done satisfactorily, although all my confidence went down the drain when I started reading some of the answers on some bar exam forum. But if I assess myself based on how I have fared in an ordinary law school exams (even those times when I was still in Ateneo), I think I did well. I answered the questions as best as I could formulate the answers. I wrote drafts on the questionaires before I wrote the final answer on the test booklets. I reviewed my answers. I think I have done what I should have done. But of course, I know this is not a guarantee for a favorable result. It is the Lord whom I trust; in His grace I depend.

Right after the last subject in the bar, my worries began. I’m a cat who loves to worry. Not that I intentionally worry, it happens automatically. I just worry. I could not help it. I worry about many things; I worry about what others may say. I worry about how to face the eventual outcome of all this. I worry about whether I could still pick myself up. The more I worry, the more I lick myself. Thanks be to God in Christ Jesus. I can cast my cares upon Him for He cares for me. In all my anxieties, I can pray and make request to my Lord.

Now I still have worries, but I am standing on my faith. I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength. A thousand may fall on my side, ten thousand at my right hand, but it shall not come neart me. The Lord opens my eyes to let me see the many chariots and warriors on my side. He is my ever present help in this time of trouble. Thank you Lord, forever. Amen!